This is A Noob Plays PUBG Episode 3. Here you will learn all about the sad and pathetic adventures of a noob trying to survive Erangel!
Welcome to A Noob Plays PUBG Episode 3! Please give this poor sap some advice if you can!
Session 1: I GOT TO SEVENTH PLACE
I started well this round. After landing in a pretty decent neighborhood and looting the buildings, I managed to procure an AKM and M16A4. After collecting other important equipment, I trekked towards the white circle, unaware that the electric field was so near to me.
Like the impending chase of death in real life, the blue circle eats me up. Thankfully, I heard the rev of a distant car to my left. It veered to the right, ignorant of my car, pushing the car up towards the hillside. Not knowing if I could land a shot, I aimed with my M16A4 and landed my first kill of three for the day. I quickly ran towards the vehicle, looting the dead body along the way.
I quickly went past the electrical field to a relative amount of safety. Once I had an open field, I stepped on the gas immediately, whizzing by mostly empty patches of grass and wheat. Somewhere east, up a small hill top and near a swamp cabin I ran into a couple of slanted rocks, which caused my car to spin in a circle and drop down to the swamp below. I did not die, however, as if some kind of divine hand in the sky mercifully (or mercilessly) gave me at least an inch of my life left so that I could die in a more dignified way. I sighted a cabin nearby, as well as a ton of gunfire from both left and right of my person.
I made sure no one was around the small cabin, and entered, fully expecting myself to camp out there. I heard the revving of cars and some gunfire too near for comfort. I had begun to think that someone was just waiting behind the door–which I opened daringly.
No one was outside. I quickly closed the door, leaving the cabin. Heading up the ditch, I had found myself in the middle of a massive field, with the blue field about fifty meters away. At this point I was already around the top ten, and I heard gunfire that constantly meant we were slowly being picked off by each other, one by one. Like a fool I attempted to use my typical bush-to-bush method to make sure I was not seen, but I guess it didn’t work. The first shot grazed my skin, forcing me to head to the nearest cover–a tractor. I tried hiding and making sure I knew the location of the gun fire, but a bullet killed me before I had any chance.
Session 2: The Attack of the Texture Bug
So the game has a really horrible way of not loading the textures. I played a squad match with my buddies–Oct and Stronk, who were pretty good at the game for a while now. We decided to land in the water town, which is now one of my favorite places ever.
Well, for others, who landed in a pretty good environment, the game worked well. They managed to find good things and kicked a decent amount of ass within the vicinity. On my part, the whole area was a hunk of melted plastic blocks, and I was caught clipping into a corner, like so:
I was glad that I even managed to get some weapons from the kills my buddies made–I got an assault rifle and some moderate amount of ammunition.
Our courteous guest player started beeping us from inside a car. While we were faffing about he managed to get us a getaway vehicle, so we quickly got on and left the water town for another neighborhood a few hills away. All the while, I had expected my melted plastic world to look as real as my friends had seen, but perhaps I had wished too foolishly.
We did not get the chicken dinner at this round. After another hop to a neighborhood, I got killed trying to shoot at one of the other players lurking in the area.
Session 3: My first two kills!
Another noob tip: if you’re gonna take the school, make sure you are prepared and alert. Or, don’t take the damn school in the first place!
I made the foolish call to land on the schoolyard, noting that there were about four or five other people doing the same thing. Stronk and I managed to land safely, but Oct died in the ensuing landing. Somebody who’d gotten there first took him out immediately.
With an enemy player just a few feet a head of me, I went into a room and hid in the corner, arming myself with a godsend: an M16A4. I carefully trundled my way up the stairs to regroup with my remaining squadmate, and after gathering a few things in the area, we left to loot the other parts of the school.
I don’t know if Stronk or I managed to tag the first tango in our way, but I was screaming at him while tap-tap-tapping away at my M16A4 to make sure the guy was dead. That was my first kill in a firefight, and he never even got a chance to react. RIP, bro, and GG.
We decided to loot a small classroom near the stairway, when this guy managed to knock out my team mate. With another loud war cry I opened fire at the player, causing them to stagger and fall, and eventually drop at the power of my rifle. And I got a shotgun.
My first two firefight kills reminded me of that scene from Game of Thrones where Tyrion kills his first man, so I mentioned to my friends–in a humorous tone–that I “needed a woman.” I regret everything.
Our duo fun was cut short once we headed towards a compound. As we lurked from behind, we managed to see a vehicle passby. At the back of my head I knew there was something iffy going on. It was possible that this was all a bait, but we decided to take the compound at the top of the hill, anyway. Poor us.
Stronk went down, first, dying in a hail of gun fire as he tried entering the compound. I dived into the center, where a couple of crates and boxes lay, to make sure that I had some cover. I had a bead on my friend’s killer, and squeezed the digital trigger, only to find myself dead along with my team mates. I think they shot first, or I didn’t shoot at a vulnerable part of the body.
Session 4: Friendly Fire
We almost got the chicken dinner by this one. Apart from a lack of guests, this one was a rinse and repeat of session 2. We actually got a lot of great loot and covered a lot of good ground on this one. I guess the only thing of note was a hilarious altercation that probably cost our deaths by the time we were at the end-game of the match. As the circle started to slowly close in, we parked ourselves near a rock. Oct was waaaay far to the left of our position, hiding behind some trees. Meanwhile, we were also parked underneath some good shade. That was when I started to get a paranoid.
You know how the icons for your friends are placed so damn high when you’re prone? Well, we got killed because of that–and because I didn’t check my freaking map to make sure the guy beside me was Stronk. Anyway, I got so startled and wondered why there was an unmarked man next to me–and assumed in that mili-second that Stronk had taken cover somewhere else. Well, he didn’t, and I had knocked him out before I got the chance to stop firing at him.
We didn’t die immediately then, but I was pretty sure our position was given away. In a few minutes, as the circle closed in, we got overwhelmed by the other teams. I died trying to resurrect Stronk (from another hit by an enemy).
Today’s Deaths, and how I could have prevented them.
- STOP. USING. THE BUSH METHOD. IN FIELDS. It doesn’t work. Run, take cover ASAP, listen to the gunfire, and hide in the shadows to locate the sniper.
- I can’t say much here, because I was a victim of a really crappy game bug. Maybe…take cover?
- I died in a firefight. I should remember to hug my cover unless there’s a really really good opportunity to take down my enemies. Or THROW A GRENADE.
- I died because we gave away our position. Next time, I should remember to check the map in case I doubt if the person next to me is still my team mate.
Do you like A Noob Plays PUBG Episode 3? Check out our other PUBG articles!
- A Noob Plays PUBG – Episode 1
- A Noob Plays PUBG – Episode 2
- A Noob Plays PUBG – Episode 3 (You Are Here)
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